Thursday, January 10, 2008

Initial plans for Reagan's "Strategic Defense Initiative" included a hot-line to reach Jim Rice around the clock, anywhere in the world. The plan then called for Rice to hit baseballs at any and all oncoming nuclear ballistic missles, destroying them in outerspace. Being the ultimate team player, Rice declined to take part, citing the fact that he might be playing in an important game for the Red Sox at the time of an attack, and this might hurt his team. Rice suggested that a series of anti-ballistic missles, lasers and mirrors be used instead. It is widely accepted that Rice's association with SDI, has caused severe backlash from the biased, predominantly liberal media, and to date, has kept him out of the Hall of Fame.

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